literally had 100 drinks last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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