So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
