His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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