It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
