It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Never underestimate the power of titties
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
