Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Two words: nipple clamps
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