I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
