There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
