I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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