i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
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A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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