I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
