he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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