Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
