please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
