OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
