Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
that is very illegal...i love you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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