I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So squirting runs in the family.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
