Sponge bath it is.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
