my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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