I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Girls should come with a carfax report
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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