You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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