I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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