i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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