Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
