You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
