so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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