she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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