why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dear god my vagina.
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