Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
