His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
