but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
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I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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