My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We need to rekindle our bromance
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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