they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My vagina is officially offended.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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