Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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