whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
