Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
