Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
