Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
