he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
