and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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