Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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