no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Dating After Heartbreak
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.