Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had sex on a roof