Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
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is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
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Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.