I'm eating all of the evidence.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am full of burrito and curiosity
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.