Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper