Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.

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(305): Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain. http://tfl.nu/9uzx

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(818): View more from California

She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?

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(818): She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs? http://tfl.nu/4vl4

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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(248): I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/icyg

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(912): View more from Georgia

if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.

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(912): if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste. http://tfl.nu/c4ff

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(773): View more from Illinois

that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.

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(773): that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them. http://tfl.nu/o468

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(651): View more from Minnesota

how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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(651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw

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(707): View more from California

he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting

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(707): he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting http://tfl.nu/k7m6

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

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(580): She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head. http://tfl.nu/4ro8

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(903): View more from Texas

I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

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(903): I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again. http://tfl.nu/pun6

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

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(203): There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper. http://tfl.nu/r5h8

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(303): View more from Colorado

We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

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(303): We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is. http://tfl.nu/mbfy

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(847): View more from Illinois

couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.

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(847): couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner. http://tfl.nu/srex

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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(864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo

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(319): View more from Iowa

I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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(319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2

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(925): View more from California

I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop

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(925): I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop http://tfl.nu/0pj9

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