Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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