Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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