Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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