Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
