I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
