Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
