I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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