I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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