its not stalking. its research.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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