How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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