i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
