There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
