marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
