Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
